~.~ {E}zrin ~.~

this is a random story i wrote when i was bored... BWHAHAHA.. enjoy?
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Little Jimmy James Johan was like every other 5th grade child, loved toy trucks and playing in the mud, but little Jimmy James Johan was a liar, he would lie to his parents, his friends and even to the whole town on a regular occasion.

One faithful day, little Jimmy James Johan was on his way home from a long day of school, he passed the bakery, passed the towns farmer Joe and his farm and walked steadily up the grassy green hill.
looking around towards the small town he spotted some animal that looked, quiet like a dog, as an animal lover little Jimmy James Johan raced over to the dog, that, as Jimmy came towards, grew larger until Jimmy’s little brain relised it was wasn’t a cute dog, but a wolf.
With a trembling voice, called out to the town
”WOLF WOLF, THERES A WOLF ITS GOING TO KILL THE SHEEP, HELP HELP, WOLF!” the town must have herd the cries from the boy, because soon small voices were chattering away, in an instant the wolf glanced at Jimmy, and fled.
the towns mayor steeped in front of the crowd
”how did I know it wouldn’t be you Jimmy James Johan, you telling lies again?” he placed his hand on his hip “Well I’m telling you this now, one more lie, and only one more lie jimmy, and something WILL happen to you, and you can take that to your grave, now go home before we call your parents” the boss ordered, pointing towards his house.
Jimmy ran home.

The following day, was in fact Saturday, Jimmy had no school and was able to wander around as he pleased, his minute brain told him to go looking for the wolf, and being as stupid as he is, he did.
He searched high and low, through the town and up the stream and back down it again, he sat himself on a log.
”gosh darnit, I really want to see that wolf again” he said placing his face in his hands “if I were a wolf, where would I be”
raising his head, he looked towards the direction of Middleton forest
”why didn’t I think of that first” he said rising to a stand and marching himself off too the forest.
flicking his brown hair from his matching brown eyes, Jimmy pushed branches out of his way and calling “here wolfie wolfie wolfie” as if it were some dog
Growls were herd from up ahead of Jimmy, his heart beat faster, the thrill and excitement was all too much for the 10 year old boy.
”Why, do come in Jimmy, I have been expecting you” said a voice, it looked as if the wolf... was almost… talking.
”wolf?” jimmy replied pushing the last branch out of his way to see the magnificent grey wolf beholding itself to Jimmy James Johan’s eye balls
”why yes, I am Wolf, do, please do take a seat” he said picking his teeth with his claw
Jimmy hesitated and sat as he was told
”I hear your spreading lies and roumers again, is this true Jimmy” the wolf asked eyeing off Jimmy’s left leg and licking his lips, Jimmy nodded
”do you think that is a wise thing to do young boy?” Jimmy shook his head from left to right
”interesting” said the wolf
”how can you talk mr. Wolf” Jimmy said, he thought the wolf was friendly, but his minute brain was wrong… again.
”I am what we call a spirit wolf, I am able to talk because there is a person living inside me” the wolf said with a grin
”oh..” jimmy said with a sigh
”care to see the person inside me?, all you have to do is look into my mouth and look to the back of my throat and you cal see the tiny little person back there, well do you” the wolf said widening his pupils, a smile raced across Jimmy’s face, as he took a step closer to the wolf, the wolf opened his mouth wide and Jimmy put his head in, and in an instant the wolf snapped his mighty jaws shut on Jimmy… isn’t he a stupid kid?
Kicking the wolf in the groin it opened his mouth and Jimmy staggered away from the wolf without looking back.
Back out of the forest Jimmy James Johan faced the town and with all his might yelled “WOLF WOLF, THE WOLF ATTACHED ME, HELP HELP” the town once again came to the top of the hill, and groaned in annoyance as they only saw half dead Jimmy standing in the middle of the hill.
once again the mayor stepped forward in front of Jimmy
”once again Jimmy, the lies you tell are quiet annoying, the town and I agree that this is the best option for ALL of us” the mayor said holding a long golden rifle to Jimmy’s forehead, the 2 ends of the barrels could be felt by Jimmy.
”I’m telling the truth, it attacked me! It attacked me!” Jimmy James Johan pleaded, the mayor did not listen and with in a second little Jimmy James Johan was now motionless and dead with half his small and stupid brains splattered out across the green grassy meadow.
”liars will not be tolerated in this town, you knew that, and you pushed my buttons, now your dead and its all your fault, hardy har har” the mayor sang as he and the town left back towards the town.

Around midnight, Jimmy’s body was still sitting on the grass, bloody and mostly an empty caucus, the wolf emerged from the forest, a grin on his face
”see Jimmy, bad things come to people who tell lies” and he buried his face into jimmy’s empty stomach and ripped his flesh clean off his body.
”And by the way, you taste like chicken the wolf said hand eating, chewing and laughing.

Jimmy was stupid wasn’t he?

Dark and lonley, is it really ment to be true? four

"r-r-ryan" Brendon said in a quivvering voice, he was clearly crying
"hey bren wats wrong" he asked acting clueless
"l-l-lillys dead, becuse y-you killed her" he said looking away
"i did no such thing brendon"
"what was with the note on her back, no one but you would of done that, and the knife they found, it was yours, why."
Ryans mouth slowly slid open, he was stunned "because brendon, i love you"
"you just dont get it do you ryan" brendon had stopped crying and was now almost yelling "i am not gay, was, but not anymore, what part of that dont you get"
"but...we...how.." was all ryan splurted out, his plan crumbled before him, and now brendon was even mader with him
"it was the fucking past, leave it there" brendon paused and thought about what he was going to do next "and iv called the police, there comming for you, and you have a jail sentence for 30 years because of 3rd degree murder"
ryan fell backwards and sat on the floor, he was shocked, sad, stunned and he couldnt understand why.
"i hope you rot in the jail because i would never love you now ryan" and brendon pulled his friend up off the floor, and looked at him sternly, sirons filled the house, echoed down the walls
"will you kiss me one last time" ryan asked looking at his friend for the last time, the poice hammered on the door
"once, and remember this cause itl be your last ross" and he pulled ryan into a kiss, that moment brendon rememberd ryan, remembered all the times he had had with him, all the feelings, all the things he had done with ryan. all the times he had smiled.
he pulled away "now go" brendon ordered and opened the door to have 9 cops flood into the room and put ryan at gunpoint, handcuffed him, and dragged him out the house. "I will always love you brendon" Ryan screamed
brendon looked away "you too" he whispered and shut the door.
he DID still love ryan, it just took his taste to refresh his mind.
he will visit, the band will find another giutarest, and we will move on.

Dark and lonley, is it really ment to be true? (after 20 years in jail)

"brendon, hey!" ryan said from the visiting center. ryan was more buff, he had gotten fatter, and had a flaming skull tattoo on his left arm, his hands were no longer soft and his voice was husky due to the smoking he picked up in jail.
"long time no see bud" he said shaking ryans hand firmly, brendon almost stayed the same, he had grown taller, and became a little more buff, his hair was jet black, and he had a small tattoo on his wrist of a tophat and cane with the words 'please leave all overcoats, canes and tophats with the doorman' written under it
"hows it going ry" spencer asked moving apart from jon and brendon and sat at the table, Spencer had changed, he was now a family man with a wife, Sam, and 2 baby twin girls, leigha and amanda, he was now taller, his arm muscles were buff due to drumming, and his hair was still the sidefringe, but this time the actual fringe was a deep red.
Ryan laughed "food not the best, but its all good" spencer then laughed.
"jon, come on man, dont be afraid" ryan said and jon stepped out, he looked stunning, he was SO much skinner, and he was, for once, nicley shaved, his hair was still that cool sidefringe, but it looked fluffy and neat, he smiled and waved.
an announcmant was made over the loudspeaker
"can all gards take the prinsionars back to their cells, thank you"
"well i have to go"
"we will visit in another 5 years bud, oh and lay off the smokes, you reak" brendon said waving, along with jon and spencer, his friend away. they left the jail, but they never saw ryan again.
some say he was killed in his cell, other people say he commited suicide, but no one was sure.
his funeral was depressing, it made brendon, actually, everyone cry.
"ryan was like the brother i never had, a great boy, excelled in everything he did" brendon spoke at the podium, those words rung through the air. "and i was proud to love him"

!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!
tell me watcha think!!

Dark and lonley, is it really ment to be true? three

"Ohhhhh lillllyyyy" Ryan cooed into her partly empty house, he had managed to get out of his apartment and to her 3 story house.
there was a lound bang and lilly appreared infront of Ross, a smile on her face, and soot smeared down one side
"HEY ryan!! long time no see" she said embrasing ryan with a friendly hug, insted of ryan smiling, he smerked a devilish smerk.
"what you here for" she asked, her voice being carried by the light breeze that blew through her house, she always sounded happy and preppy.
"i needed somewere to go, somewere where i know i can be alone from all the boyness at home ya know?"
lie
"yeah i know whatcha meean, come on in and take a seat, im sure you know where everything is" she paused and re arranged her words "oh and ignore the noise im making in the celler, im trying to fix the dam washing machiene, not much luck though" and she laughed, ryan let out a little chuckle and felt the cold knife that sat in his front pocket, it sent shivvers up his spine.
Another bang was hurd and lilly came out coughing
"i think...ill... *cough* call it a night hey" she laughed, ryan smiled but he clearly didnt mean it.
"hows my little brenny bear" she asked with a smile, Ryan frowned
"hes.. uhh.. fine.. yeah just fine" he said taking a step forward.
Lilly laughed and turned arround to place some freshly washed cups in the cubbord, Ryans heart beat in his cold chest.
"when you go home will you tell my brenny bear that i love him" Ryan nodded and replied "hmmmm no" and threw the silver knife at lilly with all his might.
blood splattered on the tiles as the knife was pushed into the back of her head, she was killed instantly.
Ryan laughed "iv always hated you, i hope you die in hell bitch" and he stepped on the knife and sunk it further into the back of her head
"i may be a rockstar, but im also a cold hearted killer" and ryan took the knife out of the back of her head leaving a hole and stripped her nude. took his knife and carved the words 'brendon, come back to me' in her bare and now bloody back.
standing up, he looked at the mess he had made, he smiled.
"for once somethings going the way i want it too" he smerked, dropped the knife and left, head high he was proud of what he had just done.

Dark and lonley, is it really ment to be true? two

"good morning Ryan" Brendon mumbled as he continued to shuffle past ryan to the coffee maker that sat next to the fridge, Ryan shot arround with a huge smile on his face "someones happy today" Brendon said raising his eyebrow, he found it creepy that Ryan, was..... well. smiling.
Jon stumbled into the kitchen, his face bloodshot and blood streaking from his nose, he was flairing his arms arround and screaming,.
"WHAT THE FUCK JON" ryan yelled shoving jon over to the sink so he wouldnt get blood on the tiles "what the hell happened"
"SPENCER FUCKING KICKED MY FACE!" jon screamed, and brendon shook his head, then left to scream at Spencer.
Jon held his nose
Ryan was standing there making his breakfast.
and you could hear brendon and spencer yelling from the loungeroom.
"I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU SPENCER, ARE YOU THAT.... FAT IN THE HEAD" jon shouted from the kitchen
"THE WORDS THICK YOU DUMB FUCK, AND YOU DID, YOU PUSHED ME OVER FIRST" spencer yelled making ryan jump, he hated this. alot. he only liked it when brendon yelled.
ryan stood up, and in his loudest voice he had screamed "IF YOU ALL DONT FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP I SWEAR YOU WILL BE OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOUSE BEFORE YOU CAN SAY NO! UNDERSTAND ME FUCKERS? OR ARE YOU ALL STUPID AND RETARTED?" the house went quiet.
"sorry ryan" jon said holding his nose.
Brendons eyes went wide, and he stared at ryan who started back, but Ryan looked away.
All Ryan wanted was brendon!! he couldlt think of anything else but brendon! brendon this, brendon that, it was driving him mad, he needed it to be back to the way it was, his only single compicated mind was on the boy who he lived with, the boy he worked with, the boy who he had once fucked hard, the boy who broke his heart.
Ryan walked out of the kitchen to their room, he sat on his bed and held his face in his hands, He couldnt face brendon anymore, it had gotten to him, love turned into revenge, sweet sweet revenge, he loved it, but at the same time, hated it.
His silver knife that sat on his dresser (he had one it in a kickboxing match and takes it everywere) gleeming, it was teasing Ryan, it was moking him, making him feel so weak inside.
"go away" he told the knife, he was so insane he was talking to an object that cant move
silence
"just go away.. please"
more silence
he held the knife in his hands, the hands that had made him famous and a devilish smerk appeared across his face.
"for you my love" he whispered to himself, and walked out to find Brendons gf.
A hunter for revenge and love. save us save us.

Dark and lonley, is it really ment to work?- one


The annoyed, still awaking Brendon took a sip of his warn strong coffee to wake him up, his left hand scrached his bottom, as he took another sip, he groaned.
Brendon HATED waking up, he was clearly not a morning person, he was always disorganised, and grumpy at every little thing.
"Good MORNING brendon" Spencer said in his happy morning voice, brendon groaned a 'good morning' back, and slumped himself on the lounge, some coffee spilt on him making him swear loudly.
"damit brendon, why do you have to leave a mess wherever you go!??!" an aggrovated Ryan yelled from the kitchen. Brendons face cringed, he looks about ready to explode.
"I DON'T ALWAYS LEAVE A FUCKING MESS RYAN, GET OVER YOURSELF AND DEAL WITH IT!!11!!!!!" A now major pissed brendon shouted back, hearing that made Ryan skip a heart beat, He loved it when brendon yelled, it got his heart beating faster.
Ryan Groned and stuck his finger up before walking away.
"stupid fucking son of a bitch" brendon mumbled to himself before slumping back onto the lounge. he knew it would be a LONG day.

Ryan scrunched up his face at the bright midday sun, he mumbled things under his breath before feeling Brendon brush past him. it made his eyes narrow and made him blush.
"whats up with your face Ry, you burnt or something" Spencer asked, Ryan shook his head in denial, although he was lying.
They had all just seen a movie together, Ryan got the lovers seat but brendon ignored his intent look across his face, Ryan was waiting, just waiting for brendon to kiss him, waiting for brendon to be in him, just waiting and hoping.
"RYAN!1!!!" Brendon screamed from the van, he was clearly annoyed, for when it was brendons turn to drive, he was focused on getting from the place they left off to the point there going too, no fuck ups included.

its really good to hear your voice saying my name
it sounds so sweet
comming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak.

Ryan snapped back into reality when he felt himself being carried to the van by Jon, He could hear everything arround im, but his mind was focused on Brendons voice
"FOR FUCK SAKE RYAN DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO WALK TO A MOTHER FUCKING VAN?" he yelled out the window shaking his fist through the air as if he was beating something
"HURRY THE FUCK UP JON, I WANT TO FUCKING GO" Brendon yelled, he was red in the face, and you knew when brendon was pissed cause he swore alot, and saying alot, i mean ALOT!.
Ryan looked up at they clear, cloudless sky and remembered the times him and Brendon had under it. He hoped it would go back to the way it once was before he met that girl.
the girl who made his life a living horror movie.
that girl who took his love away from his arms.
that girl whos brendons new girlfriend.
half an hour from being yelled at in the parking lot, Brendon was now yelling at him because he couldnt find the remote.
Ryan stood there staring at Brendon, everything seemed to go quiet, as if he was blocking out all the sound, all he would focus on was the aggrovated Brendon.
"kiss me brendon, please" Ryan asked intently
Brendons eyes narrowed "what did you say"
"kiss me, i cant live without you! i need you, i want you, i cant help it, i havn't forgotten my feelings for you" Ryan was only a few centemateres from brendons face
"i-i cant, and i wont!" brendon said shoving the skinner boy onto the floor "you know im not like that anymore, you..you.. FAG!" and he walked away
Ryan sat there, alone, like he will be forvever unless his girlfriend leaves, 'thats it!' ryan throught to himself, 'ILL KILL HER!' a smerk crossed his face, "but how" he questionned himself. "yes... how.'

yeah, so i havnt been updating my spencer fan-fic alot cause of school, and all, i did manage to do another 2 drawings out of borden today, so check them out

http://pics.livejournal.com/3wordsilove/gallery/00004stx

HEY!, as u may have seen, or may not, i have updated my file of drawings and then i have done some spencer fan-fic.
SCHOOL... ew, year nine you actually have to make an effort with work and such, and im doing just that. haha.
FAMILY.. annoying as usual, casey started highschool and now gets ak the simpothy >=[ se can bite my ass for all i care.

ANYWAY!!! here is the link to my drawings, and i have put another one on there, please, check it out

http://pics.livejournal.com/3wordsilove/gallery/00004stx

Brendon threw both his arms in the air "your life thats fucked Spencer, not mine, im just some friend giving advice" he said,and like ryan, turned and left.
Spencer stuck his middle finger up as to say "fuck you too brendon" without having to use words.
Brendon hated it when Spencer would think everythings ok, when everybody else knows that hes not, He hates to see his friend suffer.
Spencers head grew heavy as he finished his 5th coffee, he sighed and curled back on the lounge in the fetal position, he said it took some of the tight chest pain away that he suffered from as an affect of his condition.
He was crying again
again he felt like this condition had beat him
had made him look weak and helpless.
or, at least, its what Spencer was feeling.
His face, again wet from fresh falling tears, like the rain they never seemed to stop.
He banged his fist hard onto the coffee table infront of him, sending a crack right through the middle thats how it was, pain streamed through his weaked body, it made him feel a little better.
No he musnt think that hurting himself will make everything better, thats stupid, stupid spencer for thinking that.
He stood up and smashed his forehead against the brick wall, each time a little harder, Brendon saw
"spencer..." he tried
WHACK
"please..."
WHACK
"SPENCER"
WHACK
WHACK
WHACK
By this time, brendon had had enough and with all his might, yanked spencer away from the wall and right onto the floor with a thud. Brendon held spencer down by his throat.
"dont you EVER fucking do that again, are you loosing your fucking mind?" Brendon has exclaimed with his face only 3cm away from Spencers, Spencer shook his head. and looked away shamefully.
Brendon sighed loosning the grip on spencers throat "dont make me put you into a mental hospital", Spencer shook his head again and pulling himself off the floor with a long sigh.
"Im sorry, its just, you dont know what im going through, no one does, im not redy to die,im SO not ready." Spencer was close to tears again, Brendon was too
"im sorry, i just hate to see you like this, i mean, like, in pain" Brendon looked away
"if you dont want me in pain, put me in hospital" Spencer went to pack his things "if you really do care, then do that, cause the pain is getting wrose everyday"
Brendon stood there in silence, he didnt know what to say to that, i guess no one would.
His mouth slowly opened, and he didnt even notice.
"hurry up, were going to hospital" Spencer demanded, placing his fingers under Brendons chin and putting his mouth closed.
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THIS CHAPTER SUCKED!!! watever, comment plz.

umm, apart from writing fan-fic and school, i like to do art and draw and yeah... so heres the link and go check out some picks i drew, (sorry tash forgot to add the cartoon one :P)

NOTE: SOME ARE UN FINISHED, SO DONT TELL ME THEY HAVE NO FACES.

Enjoy

http://pics.livejournal.com/3wordsilove/gallery/00004stx

Spencer sat on the red lounge, sleepy, head pounding on him.
He hadnt been getting much sleep latey, and people could see that.
Bags arround his eyes, and his eyes themselves were red, he took a sip from his warm coffee he held in hand.
Ryan knew, as his best friend, that his condition was getting worse because of the lack of sleep, Sometimes Spencer would twich, or cough uncontrolably throughout the nights he didnt sleep, he was getting worried.
"Im worried about you Spence" Ryan once said, he had gathered up enough courage to tell him that.
"don't be, i feel like im ontop of the wor." cough cough cough "im on top of the world" he said taking a lont swig of coffee, he looked tence.
"spencer, you are clearly not well, and your not sleeping" Ryan how had his, im worried tone of voice on, but he couldnt hide it, it was the truth, and he would hate for spencer to get even worse then he already was getting.
Spencer shook his head in disbelief "im fine" was all he said
Ryan got up, why was he just going to leave his best friend behind, his heart throbbing as he left, he shook his head to try to get the loud beating out, but he coudnt, it was impossibe, Ryan felt something different, but it was a good feeling, Ryan groaned and continued to leave.
Spencer finished the 4th coffee of that morning, he started rocking.
back and forth
back and forth he continued to rock until brendons shadow was seen in the door frame.
"Spencer go to bed." he ordered, and spencer shook his head and replied with a stern "i cant do that for you im sorry"

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sorry if its not alot, im kinda doing title pages and everything for shcool, dam it gets in my way, haha, comment plz.

umm, i prob wont be updating storys and such as of now because of school(i wanna get good/better this year then to what i did last year) SO, yeah, atm iv writen a little of the spencer fanfuic, last night and when i arrive back from school, i shall post it, but dont be dissapointed if its only short, but uits better then nothing
kiss kiss babys.

xx erin

as i sit here on my new laptop, i remember what life was like, somewat a year ago, i would think that u would nver forget a single birthday, this one is exactly that, haha, don't mind me if this dosnt make any sence cause it its in the early hours of a Tuesday, and y am i awake? cause it was my little sisters first day of highschool, i wish her luck.
Now i plan on making friends with this shiney red laptop, haha,oooo also, recomend me dvds cause i can watch them on here, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Wishing you all a good day, because my great day has just started

kiss kiss babys, and ill talk to you all soon.

Erin XXxxXXxx

Black heart, and black blood, not thinking straight, not thinking straight
Spencer stopped, looking down, he sighed.
He didn’t know what to do anymore.
His life was ending in the worse way possible, death.
And he couldn’t do anything about it.
He felt small, and worthless, like he wasn’t loved by anyone.
Brendon, as much as he tried to help, it didn’t seem to work
Ryan would always try to tell me everything’s ok, even tho he knew it clearly wasn’t.
Jon, being his best friend, he didn’t seem to actually care what happened, or he did but didn’t show it.
Life was never going to be the same for Spencer; he knew it was true, he couldn’t deny it any longer.
He took a breath, and in his loudest voice screamed up to the heavens “WHY”
Falling to his knees, he cried.
Brendon felt tears form in his own eyes, he also knew there was nothing Spencer, or for that matter anyone could do, Spencer wasn’t going to live to the next year, he, along with everyone else knew it, but, then again, these things happen, there was nothing that can stop it, nothing anyone can do, Deaths a part of life remember?
Spencer felt himself cry.
felt himself feel small.
felt himself feel worthless.
He would always tell himself that he will get better, he will live, he will make a commitment to the band, and he would never give up hope, he will not go the heaven or hell, he will live, he will live.
Ryan slammed the pencil on the ground, and felt himself cry, to hear Spencer talk like this made him think of all the “good” times they had together, and then the “bad” thought that he will never be around anymore, he knew that as much as he tried to think it will be over, and that Spencer will live, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to do that, this disease was killing Spencer slowly, he knew it, he was the only one who took it seriously, and still this didn’t feel like reality to him, it felt like a dream, the worst dream possible.
Spencers loud sobbing filled the quiet apartment.
In a sense, it was like loosing a brother to Ryan, he and Spencer had always been there for one another, like the time Ryan broke his arm, Spencer was the one who took him to hospital, who sat by his side the whole day, it was sad for Ryan to think that Spencer would never be here anymore, With his head lowered into his hands, he also cried.
Brendon looked up at Spencer who was in a ball on the floor sobbing.
”I’m sorry” was all he was able to chook out before himself breaking down in tears.
Spencers head raised, his face and eyes red from crying, he was able to say "its not your falt, its mine"....
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Tell me what u think, and if i whould like, go on or whatever.

XX Erin XX

She left, heart racing, world spinning, but she managed staggered down the empty street.
thoughts running through her head.
Thoughts of him,
thoughts of what he did, and how he did them.
she stopped, and looked up, eyes blood shot and red, she could barley see.
but it was His face coming her way.
His body staggering down the once busy street.
His body she remembered clearly, tho, who could forget things like what he did?
She didn’t know what to do, thoughts started dancing to the beat of his footsteps growing closer.
thud
thud
thud
her heart racing, she reached for a branch.
The thudding grew louder as he grew nearer, her thoughts rapidly grew faster, her heart beat increased as well.
he took one more step, not noticing her presence, and her grip grew tighter on the branch.
The smell of fresh fallen rain signalled the end of her time.
end of his time.
And as he took another step, the thought sunk in, she knew it had to be done.
thud
She swung the branch as hard as she could, hoping it would struck him down, and it did.
For the first time, he was the one to fall
he was the one to feel suffering
he was the one to feel weak.
Dropping the branch and herself falling to her knees beside him, she watched herself cry, she watched herself feel guilt.
And she watched herself feel sorry for this boy.
for thats the type of girl she was.

He fell, pain streaking through his whole body.
Her body fell beside him, she was crying
he felt bad
he felt guilty
he felt pain, and this was all coming from the boy who has caused so much pain to her, an innocent girl.
And he himself felt a tear run down his now broken jaw.
She looked at him with an inquisitive look upon her face.
She smiled, for the first time, and he looked away, she pulled out a gun from her back pocket, held it to his head, and fired
he deserved that, he truly did.

Bang
he was gone.
Like that, she felt like the king of the world.
she felt like she was invincable
like he couldn’t hurt her anymore
she cried
don’t know why she cried, just did
She looked at him, his face wet from himself crying
that only made her only cry more
then herself, put the gun to her own forehead.
the forehead he hit with that baseball bat, a person never was ment to live like that, but she did, she didn’t want to, but her love for that boy made her stay, thinking it would all be ok the next day, but it never did change.
And she let her own finger feel around the trigger
she whispered, in her softest tone of voice she has, to the broken and lifeless boy becide her
”lets try again in heaven ok?”
bang

His world stopped as he fell backward onto his bed staring up at the slowly spinning ceiling.
The bed the he had once raped her in.
The bed where the bashings would either start or end, either way it was wrong.
But Ryan didn’t care.
He didn’t care because he wouldn’t remember, right?
His baseball bat sat a few feet away from him, it was mocking him, making him remember the times he had used that bat and pounded it onto her small and defenceless body over and over again, and all because his fists hurt from the beating.
The bat that made a girl scream for mercy
The bat that has left her with memories of hatred and depression
The bat that had once before, nearly bashed a girl to death.
Ryan held the baseball bat in his hand, and threw it as hard as he could at his mirror, shattering it into a thousand tiny pieces, Like fresh show it fell onto his floor.
He hoped this would make him feel less ashamed
Ashamed of what he did.
He can’t help but feel sorrow
But why was he feeling it now?

While the other, more “suburban” area of Vagas,
Sat that boy.
That boy who, everyday, would come home drunk, and beat an innocent girl until he grew tired, sick or bored of it.
That boy who didn’t even know if he really loved that girl.
The boy whose life was even more screwed up then he thought or had believed it to be.
That boy who was franticly flicking through the pages of a magazine he had read a thousand times over and again he didn’t know he was doing it, he too, remembering bad thoughts of what he did, but his were more like the blurred parts.
His head rose, His eyes blood shot, and his head spinning with memories.
That boy who was once again drunk.

Her head grew heavier each passing second of her now wasted life and her world, like usual, was spinning faster and faster, round and round, like a carasol it never stopped.
The sound of her thoughts danced in tune with the music of the pub.
She raised her head and looked at her glass of Vodka.
The glass of the yellowish brown liquid
the 5th glass of it tonight.
and with a sigh she drunk it down carelessly, not knowing what life will being next, she drunk another one, an another, one after another she continued to drink the liquid down her bruised throat.
the burses he left, like battle wounds they were a scar or bad memories
she wouldn’t care
she wouldn’t care because she wouldn’t notice,
she wouldn’t notice until the following morning.
then she would feel the pain he caused her to bare.
Pain and a broken life he left her with.


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This i would believe to be rated, lyk, (M) for you tashie, and enjoy.
oh and plz, the truth will help with writing.

The taste of fresh Vodka filled my mouth, again for the 3rd time this month; I was trying to drink my life away. Tho as much as I tried, it never seemed to work, Thoughts of my haunting past erupted inside my head like a thousand volcanoes exploding, no matter now hard I tried to forget they seemed to come back, just like my shadow, and even looking at my shadow I felt ashamed Iv come to this.
For you see, I was unlike any other depressed 18 year old child, my case was simple, the only reason I was in such a state like this was because of a boy.
The boy’s name, I think was called Ryan
the boy was my best friend, and my lover.
Until a month ago when everything seemed to change.
One argument
One fight
One punch
And one knocked out girl limp and dead lying motionless on his floor while he continued to kick my lifeless body, and even though he did this to me on a regular bassist, each day more painful then the last.
I knew I still love him deep down.
But alas, I knew it was over, and I knew that relationship wouldnt last, one thing I didn’t know,i didnt know love could hurt so much.
And that’s the reason I am here, a lonely girl sitting at an empty bar table constantly asking for ‘one more’ beer
'one more’ glass of Vodka
'one more’ shot
but ‘one more’, usually ends up being 5 more, until the barman decides not to serve me anymore and I move on to the next bar down the street.
Those were the types of streets where I live
the scene of Vages


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comments?? thoughts??

seeming as i didnt have time to really have an update before, i concluded to write another one to make up for it.
today= boring
BUT
today= BEST DANG DAY OF MY LIFEEEE, and mainly there is only one reason, got up at, what, fucking 6:30am so i would be pumped to get fall out boy tickets for their show here (here being in the quaint little place i call SYDNEYY) so yeah, mainly that was the only exciting thing that happened today, rest of the boring day, talked to Samzie, Tashie and Jar, drew a pic of Spencer as a play boy bunny, and moped arround. so, yeah, not that.... interesting.
and atm, im drinking an ice coffee to perk me up before going off to eat my VERY exciting dinner of 2 minute noodles (i once remember when insted of '2 minutes' it was 3, haha the good ol' days)
(keep checking back for updates and yeah)

Lots of LOVE
=ERIN=